There is Nothing Safe About Childhood

 "It's a hard world for little things" 

- Rachel Cooper, The Night of the Hunter

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm were brothers who spent their lives researching culture and studying linguistics. They also had a knack for folk tales and spent another portion of their life editing, writing and compiling tales for children in their native German language. The result would be Grimm's Fairy Tales, where we get classics like Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, and Snow White.

When the tales were first published in 1812, they were met with fierce criticism because they were too violent, sexual, and "adult themed" to be marketed to children. Many reviewers rejected the first printing and the brothers set out to make several updated editions over the next number of years that toned down some of the graphic content. They removed overtly sexual jokes and turned the "wicked mother" into a "wicked stepmother." But one thing they didn't erase but in fact escalated was the violence in the stories.

That's why we have these old stories about wolves chasing little girls, step-mothers planning the death of young innocent ones, and little boys being run down by malicious candy shop owners. They are "fairy tales" for children however they are extremely unsafe stories filled with terror.

I spend my life with families who have kids exiting childhood. And far too often I meet students who have been told a lie their whole life. They have had parents who were wealthy and supportive and loving, but not honest. These students have been protected from the one reality they need to know: life is dangerous.

In the attempt to keep their children "innocent" and "free," parents tell their children a different type of fairy tale, a modern American story: everyone loves you because you're special, you are good at everything you try, and if you work hard enough and be a good little boy or girl, you'll be successful. Also, you'll never die.

Of course the language is not as blunt, but this is what we tell kids with our actions. We tell them all of this under the banner of "protecting them." They can't see certain things because it will damage their innocence, ruin their good heart, and give them a bad name.

But doesn't Scripture tell us such a different story? It's a lot more similar to Grimm's Fairy Tales. The horrific truth of life is that nothing about childhood is safe and everything about everyone is dangerous. The Bible says that there is no one who lives correctly, that the world is filled with people who will try to tear you apart, and you and I are contributors to the madness. You don't teach your son to disobey. He's already pretty good at that.

One time I was speaking at a conference and I mentioned that I am slow to trust people. Afterward, a woman came up to me and said, "You're a pastor and you don't quickly trust people - that seems kind of backwards. Wouldn't the Christian thing to do be to assume the best about people?" But the problem is that the Bible actually assumes the worst about everybody. I am slow to trust people because most people are looking out for their own benefit and not the common good.  

What I've realized over time is that I am also slow to trust others because I have no trust in myself. If no one is "good," then neither am I. Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, and all of the characters in those old stories made mistakes of their own that nearly cost them their life.

This is why the Bible tells us to "Trust the Lord" with all of our hearts and "lean not on your own understanding." Because of our crooked hearts, we see the world around us as either "not so bad" or too terrible to ever expose to our children. The trick of parenting becomes shepherding kids through their own brokenness, letting them in on the tragedy of the world at the same time as you let them in on the goodness of God.

We are right in desiring for our children to never be corrupted, but we must remember that we cannot save them from this world. That's why God, the best Father, sent His perfect Son Jesus to be corrupted for us so that we might be delivered from evil. This phrase "delivered from evil," should emphasize the word "deliver," for it infers that we are to spend some time amongst wicked things, namely ourselves. It's useless pretending there's no big bad wolf. God rescues us from it all.

Until then, we train our children in the understanding that enemies abound, and our greatest adversary is closer than you think, closer than under your bed or in your closet: it's right under your rib cage.