How Embarrassing, They Wore the Same Color Tie and, Wait, Are They Holding Hands?

From the Associated Press:

An Interruption

I was just answering emails in the atrium of our church when I heard something that I can only describe by incorporating the word "stampede."

What came storming by me, inside my church, was a herd of pregnant middle aged pregnant women running/speed walking with their strollers through the foyer of our church.

The babies were crying and the leader of the pack was in the front, calling out inspirational female battle cries. Before I could think about what was really happening, and whether or not I was dreaming or not, they were gone. I will never see them again.

What? Maybe I am dreaming. Hopefully.

To Make You Laugh

Please give yourself the pleasure of taking a stroll through The Onion online newspaper today.

Some notable headlines to inspire you:

"Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job"

"Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are"

Plus, political opinion by Lyle Dixon: "What In The Heck's A Barack Obama?"

Enjoy and you're welcome.

Election Day and What Comes With It

While today may be one of America's most historic days, I am still more excited for the fact that Starbucks is launching its great political campaign: Christmas. Anyone who knows me well knows that I love Starbucks during Christmas. I love red cups. I see them and I can just taste peppermint in my mouth, and I can almost smell Grandma's Christmas tree. Oh Grandma...

As they say, every end is really a beginning. And to me, when this election is said and done and I never hear Jeff Merkley's name again, Christmas will be just beginning. A new season.

Beyond Starbucks, I'm looking forward to the study I am about to do over the next couple of weeks on Christmas; tracing both the western phenomenon we celebrate today, and hopefully trying to track down "the real meaning of Christmas" as Charlie Brown and friends would propose. We'll see what happens, I still need to find better books.

Putting my consumeristic dreams aside, today will be great, whatever happens. But seriously, I have to write about 5 pages on Vladimir Nabokov if I want to watch the race later tonight. It's almost as good as professional football...almost. Hey, Chris Matthews is way better than John Madden.

Seasons Greetings.

On the Eve of Such a Historic Election, Let's Forget About It For a Second

A friend gave me this article; it's both quality and humorous because it's all true.

From Portland Monthly Magazine:

IF THE ICONIC 1996 film Swingers taught us anything, it was this: When abandoned by their significant others, men transform into moping, unshaven, pathetic messes. Such is life for fans of the Seattle SuperSonics, who, this summer, watched their beloved team elope to Oklahoma City with new owner Clay Bennett, leaving the city without an NBA team for the first time in four decades. We can still hear the whining. She was the one. Remember 1979? The title? Life is meaningless now. Still, as the NBA season kicks off, it’s inevitable that many Seattle fans will be looking to rebound with the Trail Blazers. (After all, Portland’s roster is loaded with promising young talent and a front office committed to a steady, long-term relationship with its fans.) We need to be ready to accept them. So here we offer a few tips for how to tread gently around Sonics ex-pats as they swallow their pride and learn to love again.

Read the whole thing.