Needless to Say, I Left in Bewilderment

So it's back to school again. My third college. It's not fun getting to know a new campus, let alone new graduation requirements. Luckily, there's no culture shock like what came at SPU and Multnomah. SPU was the simple shock of being on a floor of 40 other guys who were totally different from each other. And also handling the massive amounts of male nudity. Culture shock. Multnomah was the total shock of realizing that ministry has become a "fall-back" career option. Hearing the guy next to me in chapel say, "I wasn't really good at math or science, and English was boring, so I thought, 'hey, I like Jesus, why no be a pastor?!'" was needless to say both disappointing and sickening. Yeah! why not be a pastor?! Totally! I don't know if these were the kind of guys the apostle Paul was looking for to lead his churches.

But these things are beside the purpose of me beginning to write. I had the strangest first class period this past week. It was Tuesday.

I arrived on time to my class entitled, "The English Novel," which to me seemed like it would be a great compliment to my major, which is...English. Anyways, we're all sitting there just waiting for our professor to show up, right? And then all of a sudden it's been over five minutes past the start of class. At 10 minutes, everyone can leave...that's the standard rule at Universities, I think.

Around minute seven I smelled something.

I turned around and there was a hunched over bum walking into the classroom. But he is not a bum. Is this him? Well, this will be a great year...I wonder if he washes windows or plays guitar poorly? Everyone quieted down and watched him saunter up to the front of the class. The room became incredibly quiet.

He spoke. Loudly.

"Your professor loves you very much and is terribly sorry." His tone was bold, but somewhat groggy, and his voice sounded a lot like the damp, dirty brown long coat he had around his shoulders.

He began passing out pieces of white paper saying, "Here is your syllabi, your professor couldn't make it, so please take one of these and have a great day."

After this, Bummy gave up passing the syllabus out and just set them on the desk. The room still absolutely silent.

One brave student called out, "Is there any homework."

"Read as much Wuthering Heights as possible."

"How much?" another student questioned.

He just stared at her. Frightening. Is this how I die?

The tension broke when he broke the staring contest and looked over all of us as he exited and said, "Read as much Wuthering Heights as possible. Good day!"

Before I could question if I was on Punk'd or not, he was gone.

Crafty little minx.

The whole room was all the more silent until a student in the front of the classroom looked back at the rest of us.

"What the f---?"

He spoke for all of us.