A Note About the English Major's Quality of Writing

I would just like to share why I believe English majors graduate being such great writers. I acknowledge that some will graduate and still be sloppy, inefficient writers, but it must be known that for the most part, we English majors can write, you know, okay.

I believe we end up writing so well because American English professors muster up the driest, most boring literature they can find and then ask you to write passionately about it. This makes one both question his/her will to live, but also brings one to realize that if one does not write passionately about this, then perhaps they will not graduate and thus fall into the deepest depression their soul can find.

You see, English majors spend years writing about things that do no interest them, and they get good at it. Then, when the real world hits after graduation, they can get a job anywhere simply because they have been trained to write about anything, even what they despise. So an English major who loves news writing and journalism could graduate and get a job as a cooking magazine columnist and sound cogent, articulate, and passionate.

When I think about this, I'm not sure I look forward to my life.