Moving Out, or Why I Have a Shit Eating Grin on My Face

I needed boxes. Let's face it, when you move out, it's the one thing you hate getting. I have to get effing boxes. And you try to think about ways around it. I could just throw all my clothes in the car...

But alas you succumb to the chore of getting off of your fat ass and buying some boxes.

Or not.

It dawned on me, after my dad had explained thoroughly how to purchase boxes, that I live on a college campus, and there are tons of businesses and offices on that campus. Along with my need for boxes I had a need for cash, so I trucked down to the bookstore to see if they would pay me a dime for my beat up psychology tome. And they would. The dude scanned it and said in a monotone, "thirty bucks."

"I'll take what I can get," I said. His response was a blank stare and a slap of the Return key on his vintage PC. Okaaay. As I was walking to the cashier to obtain my cold hard cash, I realized that this place would be excellent for getting some boxes. I got my money and asked the guy at the desk if he had boxes he was going to recycle. He took me to this sketch back room where, for a moment, I actually thought I would die a slow death. Instead, Jolly George thanked me for relieving him of his menial daily task.

"I dunno," I said with skepticism. "These may not do the trick."

"I'll pay you ten bucks right now if you take this boxes," he said with complete determination.

"No, I don't think I can use these boxes," I said with a sigh. He opened his wallet and revealed that he only had twelve American dollars.

"Here, twelve man, I really want to get out of work early and recycling takes me forever."

"Ok. But I'm doing this for you, not me, George." I said compassionately.

I walked out of the bookstore astonished for multiple reasons. First, my Psychology book was not worth more than 20, secondly that the first place I asked for boxes I found them, and third that the boxes were perfect and not worth close to three dimes.

Walking up to my room I could not stop smiling. I passed some people who acknowledged my happiness and pleasure. They knew that I scored big time by getting what appeared to be free boxes. What they didn't know is that those boxes were far from free. I was plus forty bones and feeling like it.

Sucka's.