Black Truth

"...man cannot tell the who truth about himself, even if convinced that what he wrote would never be seen by others."
-Mark Twain, 1899 interview with London Times

Even during his own attempt to arrange and articulate his life, Mark Twain's desire was to leave out nothing. He admired the autobiographies of his day that were raw and somewhat uncut. When he wrote to his friends about his own autobiography, he would almost brag about the unedited nature of his true life story.

And yet alas, in the midst of such an attempt, Twain confessed to man's incapability of sharing everything so blatantly. William Dean Howells, a friend and partner of Twain's agreed with his conclusion and wrote this to him:

"You always rather bewildered me by your veracity, and I fancy you may tell the truth about yourself. But all of it? the black truth, which we all know of ourselves in our hearts, or only the whity-brown truth of the pericardium, or the nice, whitened truth of the shirt-front? Even you won't tell the clack heart's truth. The man who could do it would be famed to the last day with the sun shone upon."

We can say many true things, but is it possible for us to admit our wickedness to everyone? My experience as a minister leads me to agree with Twain and Howells: people will tell you horrific things, but rarely will they tell you the whole story. Certainly I'm not saying everyone must do this, for then our counseling rooms and coffee shops would be filled with the tears and burdens of our human reality. What is interesting is that Twain might be too right.

Maybe we could never tell the entire truth about ourselves simply because we will never know it.

There are two responses from the Christian Scriptures: First, that God knows our hearts perfectly (Psalm 44:21, Luke 16:15, Acts 15:8). But secondly, and more profoundly: "God is greater than our hearts."

Even if you do not know this black truth that Twain speaks of, even if you are unable to understand how deep the truth of yourself goes, whatever unknown darkness you may have is no match for the Biblical God.